Liquid Death
X Eric Andre
Problem
Eric Andre and LD have never collaborated.
Insight
Our target is terrified of the Trumpism, but they find it equally absurd and hilarious.
Eric Andre at RNC 2028
Eric Andre gets into the RNC with a dummy with Charlie Kirk’s face taped onto it. He starts yelling:
Charlie Kirk isn’t dead.
He lives on in the spirit ream. Charlie Kirk has been sending me messages.
Charlie Kirk told me that Donald Trump is a bottom.
Charlie told me that Donald Trump bottomed for Elon Musk.
He pours a can of Liquid Death on Charlie Kirk’s face, and then makes out with the dummy aggressively.
Liquid Death will increase your sperm count.
Liquid Death brought my wife back. She still hates me, but she can’t resist the LD.
They put Neuralink in Liquid Death so Elon Musk could watch me goon in real time.
As he gets removed by security, he’s yelling:
The COVID vaccine gave me a micropenis.
The globalists don’t want you to know that Liquid Death will turn your micropenis into a regular penis.
Infomercial
Have you recently been the victim of ancient Egyptian rituals and have been possessed by gay space aliens?
Well don’t fret, because Liquid Death’s new high T mountain water is formulated to free you from the demonic rituals of the elites and bring back your masculinity.
The most manly thing you can do is die! Die for an arbitrary ideology! Die to fight the demonic globalists pushing liberal democracy and racial equality! These evil bastards have filled our heads with lies! We have to fight the agenda by drinking Liquid Death so we can die! Die for freedom! My wife divorced me because she’s been brainwashed by the space aliens!
Drink liquid death mountain water and free your mind from the liberal agenda!
The Eric Andre Show
Eric comes up to the front for a monologue.
“I went swimming in the ocean the other day and I got my head caught in a set of plastic rings”
Hannibal goes “what the...how on earth did you do that” quietly.
Eric continues: “I just think...” when he suddenly gets tackled by murder man. They struggle and fight, Hannibal starts laughing really really hard.
Murder man gets him pinned. Hannibal gets up and holds a cloth over his face, and murder man waterboards him with a can of liquid death sparking water.
You hear eric’s muffled screams until he dies and leaves his body, floating all the way up into space. He gets so big he wraps his legs and arms around the earth and starts making out with her.
Eric stands on a busy corner of New York City, shouting through a megaphone:
Inter-dimensional globalists put chemicals in soda that make your penis shrink. My dick is so small I put my dick in this can of liquid death.
He tries to get strangers to drink the can.
Soda will turn you into a liberal democrat. They want to dissolve your brain cells so you’ll watch more Quibi.
Liquid Death is the only effective COVID treatment.
Vaccines are a liberal lie, inject Liquid Death to protect yourself from COVID.
Liquid Death will increase your sperm count by 300%.
You sir look like you need more sperm, have this can of Liquid Death.
